Onward!!

The second pair of in-ear headphones I owned lasted longer than the first pair, but failed on me last night just as I got out of the tube. I figured I’d reward myself given I’ve spent quite a bit of time recently racking my brain on a job application. Plus, it might be time to change them anyway. Considering how long they spend in my ears and in various bags with nothing but the detachable rubber tips being washed, they probably are much nastier than my earplugs, which I am at least in the habit of washing.

I ordered another pair of those, too. Alpine MusicSafes were much nicer than my current Vater ones, so I figured why the hell not.

I may have found an advert for my dream job.

At least, that’s kind of what it feels like reading the description. I’ve been looking at it for a few days now, while furiously trying to piece together whether I am hopelessly underqualified for it, and in the hopes I am not, trying to get my CV to look the part.

Someone once said that in order to get a job you have to behave like you already got it. If feeling like seeing oneself totally fitting in it and the company culture is any indication, it should be a walk in the park.

But of course it won’t be.

At least I’ve got ambition, right? If I could couple that with stellar skills in writing applications, I’d be golden.

(I’m hesitant to mention any specifics in public, not least due to some sort of superstition)

A year ago, almost to the day, I arrived at this house, dropping my luggage in an empty square-shaped room that fit a double bed, a chest of drawers and a wardrobe. Feeling a bit confused, I unpacked my things and thought I’d get used to it all. I remember the smell of that room, slightly dusty and warmed up by the central heating going on full blast, driving away the February chill.

It smelled exactly the same just now, when I grabbed the last pile of things and carried them out. It looked the same, too, when I put up the long red curtains that were there when I moved in. I’m only moving upstairs to the room vacated by a couple who are leaving, but it feels quite momentous. The dynamic in the house may very well change, considering the leaving flatmates were giant, affable personalities. They’ve taken quite a bit of things with them, which of course they are entitled to, but it too has contributed to a feeling of change in the house.

The mattress topper I have is slightly too big for the bed, and most of my things are spread across the floor. That reflects a bit of how I feel, too – a little uncomfortable and scattered. It remains to make this room, gutted to the bare minimum, feel like home. I guess I’ll have to spend money for that to happen, though I wouldn’t want to spend too much considering I never know where and when I’ll be moving next and moving with lots of stuff is a pain. On the other hand, I wouldn’t want to spend money on throwawayism in the form of a load of flat-packed fibreboard furniture which you can’t really transport once assembled.

I’ll have to do the same thing I did a year ago and try it out. It’ll settle, as will I. It’s just made me think of how I have no clue where I’ll be in a year’s time from now.

Google opened Street View for Finland today. While the Finnish press is going on about the privacy implications that have been rehashed with every new launch of the service in a new country, as well as asking readers to find “sensational” or “funny” scenes captured by the camera vehicles, I’ve been spending time feeling painfully homesick for the place.

The company has photographed large swathes of the country in springtime and early summer, and I think that’s significant. Seeing delicate birch leaves framing slivers of brilliant blue water on a sunny day just makes me ache for an ice cream cone and a walk down the seaside. In a way it’s creating a mental image that never quite existed, a desire for an amalgamation of all the perfect days I’ve spent there. Still, I’d take an imperfect one too, if I could fast-forward time a few months to, say, early June and get a flight ticket to boot.

Interestingly, the places that have strong memories attached but I haven’t visited for a long time gave me the biggest kicks. Thus, seeing my childhood house was no big deal, as I was there only a month or so ago. Seeing my ex-girlfriend’s place, though, triggered a longing for her mother’s cooking, the shelves of the local library (what the hell?) and the smell of raindrops hitting the dirt track I used to walk next to the train tracks to the nearby station. Oh, and barbecues at the allotment, shopping for a sneaky and (barely-afforded) six-pack of beer for an evening with friends, and a thousand other memories I never hope to lose.

Pirkka Aunola writes about experiencing a similar feeling, and notes the power that completely unposed, “neutral” scenes can have. I can agree 100%.

Arriving back from African sunshine to a bright but breezy and cold London was a shock in a multitude of ways. Not only was my body unused to the temperature and artificiality, I got a few big pieces of news as well. Two rooms in our house are becoming empty as some of my housemates are getting a smaller place together. I do believe their assurances that there is no acrimony involved in their leaving, because they are all very dear to me and have significantly improved my experience of living in this city. I really hope the changes don’t impact the house dynamic or atmosphere too much, because our place is kind of special in my opinion.

The news did hit me hard, I won’t lie. I spent a good hour and a bit ambling around North London to clear my head on Sunday a week ago, wandering vaguely on a circular route that ended up being around five miles.  I will definitely have to do that again, as the lack of a camera prevented me from capturing some really nice shots, from young rowers on the canal to boarded-up post-industrial gloom of trackside business premises long abandoned.

So, to get the house full again, I’ve had to make my room look as presentable as possible for a prospective female housemate, because gender balance tends to help with things. If anything, it’s made me think about how I can effectively store my meagre belongings once I move up a floor into one of the departing housemates’ rooms. It’s been pretty stressful on the whole, having viewings/housemate auditions pretty much every night, coordinating schedules and other admin at the same time as working full days. Oh, and racking my brain about another development I’m not sure what to do with.

I’ve been offered a job that would start much earlier than my current contract finishes. Apparently it’d be mine if I applied for it, and the colleagues would be enthusiastic to have me. All good and great but though it’s more money, I can’t help but think I would have wanted something more career-oriented as my next job. I don’t want to say too much about what this offer would be but somehow I feel this’d be an easy way out, perhaps too easy. I like the field (it’s vaguely academic) but as much as I’ve never thought about career advancement, the lack of immediately visible prospects from it bothers me.

And I know I should always be looking out for number one, but telling everyone I work with, fixed-term and temporary as my current contract is, that I’d be leaving for greener pastures fills me with dread. There would be no coming back, I don’t think.