Onward!!

My boss approached me today, asking about my plans for the fall, and if I was going to be staying on, working part-time. I told him about moving abroad, and that I would not be wanting an extension to my contract that is due to end on the last day of August. His response was an admittedly regretful “Well, these are the realities we have to deal with.”

Now I will be out of a job on the first of September, which means that I can concentrate fully on getting rid of pretty much everything, cleaning up and getting ready. The day is getting really close now. I hadn’t planned on telling my boss about leaving quite yet, but since my co-workers pretty much all knew about it, I guess it’s only fair that he now knows as well.

It’s ironic that after tomorrow, I’ll have seniority in my department, having been here for a little over a year.

Waking up to take turns in the toilet to wonder how much the human body can hold inside makes me dread falling ill in a place where I would be sharing a bathroom with people I hardly know.

I’d wish the people writing about studying in the UK on here would wisen up a little. It seems that basic reading comprehension is simply too much to ask. I realize that the amount of information may be daunting, but when people simply refuse to believe simple instructions and facts, the issue shifts from information overload to wilful ignorance.

What am I talking about? Student finance. EU students are given the same options to pay for their studies as UK residents, because no member states can be discriminated against. Thus, a Finnish student does not have to pay his £3000/year up front, but can rather take an interest-free loan. All other forms of student support must come from the state the student is a citizen of. This is new in 2006, as EU students who have started before can receive aid from the UK government’s Department for Education and Skills. This does not apply anymore for those starting their UK university career in 2006.

What is so hard to understand about this? The Finnish government provides generous student support in the form of grants and low-interest loans. There is no reason the UK government would support a student in addition to what he or she can receive from his or her home country. The DfES clearly states that new EU students are no longer eligible for a maintenance grant starting in 2006. Why, then, do some people insist on detailing their income and proving their status as “independent students” when EU students are no longer eligible?

To me, it seems like these people are creating extra work for both themselves and the EU financial team over in the UK.

Greetings from Helsinki, a series of photo postcards showcasing Helsinki at its bleakest (and its most real) made the rounds in Finnish media this spring. I had seen some selected shots in newspapers, but only stumbled on the actual site today (via Leikkipuisto). As I write this, there are 118 of these postcards up. Though some are downright parodies of traditional postcard types, such as “Helsinki By Night,” I think something can be said about the beauty of grey snowy Helsinki. As a kid, I thought foggy days like this were mezmerizing.

The reality is that these scenes exist in a capital that likes to pride itself as clean, modern and friendly. They coexist in the same world, telling a visitor or an inhabitant completely different stories. For example, central Helsinki at around 6 am on a summer Saturday is a fascinating place: City employees use pressurised water to clean the streets and squares from the filth of Friday night partying, gingerly removing from their way passed-out people. People that resemble reeking, walking corpses stumble around, mumbling incoherently, the early morning light hurting their eyes. I’ve seen a woman trying to open her kiosk at the central railway station have to drag a passed-out man away from the entrance so she could get in. By around 8 or 9 am, the city center is clean and ready for another day of tourists.

You can send these cards to your friends, too. In fact, I think I’ll send the link to an American couple I know who simply adored Finland on their short visit here.

This entry is about possibly unfounded personal fears, uncertainties and doubts. It is a way for me to get my thoughts out so I can start making sense of them. Feel free to ignore this.

I’m 23 now. By the time I would graduate from university in London, I would be 26 years old, holding one bachelor’s degree and being close to having another from Helsinki. My state-provided student support would have run out, and I would be something like 20,000 euros in debt to both Finland and the British Student Loans Company. I would not have a guaranteed job, though I’m sure I could get something to get by with. What I’m afraid of is not so much the loss of money, but the loss of opportunities. By loss of opportunities, I mean that my long-time dream of a road trip through the United States and Canada would simply not be feasible after I graduate because of the debt burden. I’m afraid people who have graduated earlier than me will have employment opportunities not available to me, gaining more experience. Things I do (or don’t do) may end up hurting me in the long run.

I could, of course, work off the debt as quickly as I can. If I were to finish my BSc degree as well as run through my MA degree here in Finland while working part-time to fund my studies I could envisage being done in 2012. That would make me 29 years old, done with my degrees, in debt and with no formal experience in my field.

It just feels like a sure-fire way of getting myself into a corporate rut where I would first get a job to work off my student loans, then a possible mortgage or car loan, and so on. I guess you could put it this way: I’m afraid there is no time for me to be me. I know I’m still young – I have plenty of time for everything. What I’m scared of is making a decision that will put me on a course toward something that shuts away other possibilities. It’s like the Robert Frost poem referenced in the title – I don’t want to regret the choice I’m about to make. I may be 23 now, but after all this is said and done, I’ll be pushing 30 with very little (it feels now) to show for it.

To look at the other side for a change: I would be studying in London, an enormous, vibrant city. I would be attending a prestigious, respected university. I would study with enormously talented and motivated people, and get extremely useful contacts. Should I get a job in London, I would be paid a lot more than in Finland.

I’m sure I would regret not going. I’m just not sure whether I would regret going more.
Besides, I’m not the only person concerned here, either.