Missing Home?
I don’t even know what home is anymore. What I do know is that at certain times of the day I get these pangs of longing - for people, places, sounds and feelings. I guess I would call myself homesick.
A few days ago I realized that neither one of my parents has yet visited London while I’m here, not even for a quick weekend break or anything. I’m sure that they’ve got their lives full and I haven’t lived at home for years anyway. Still, it would be cool to listen to their experiences of the city while actually here. We could talk about what used to be and what is now, and see the things that haven’t changed.
On the other hand, maybe I’m missing my family and what used to be because life right now is taking everything I have. I’m at University from morning to night, whether working or studying. It’s cool, I like it, but it also makes me think back to when things were really easy.
It’s strange how I actually miss the biting cold somehow. I miss the real blackness of winter nights. I even miss some of the music that is unmistakably Finnish - and that I couldn’t bear while there. Now that’s worrying.
October 30th, 2007 at 8:28
I venture to guess that a large part of it is that you’re doing very little apart from studying and working, thus not really getting attached to where you are. Do try to take some time off, like once in a week or even two, if that’s too much of a stretch. You two did seem pretty well integrated back when I visited, but obviously you’re a lot busier now.
You mentioned the dark and the cold - we’ve been showing Helsinki and Finland to a Japanese student. It’s been very interesting, it’s like I’m getting to know my city and country (and culture - she’s not familiar with Europe, either) all over again.
October 30th, 2007 at 9:57
I haven’t missed home before, not until now. And as I said, it’s pretty disorienting with all the weird things that come to the surface. I’ve tried to take that day off every week and just enjoy myself, but even then the work I could be doing is at the back of my mind.
Showing people around is a great way to get to know a place below the surface. Or even if you just show a person the ordinary things, their fresh perspective really opens it up for you.
October 30th, 2007 at 17:59
Rajaton just recently published a new album titled “Maa”. Listening to their very finnish music (although I do think you were referring to a different kind of finnish music) has already made me miss home. And I haven’t even left yet. In the midst of all the preparations and stress, I have, yet again, understood the importance of home.
Although I’ve always loved travelling and living abroad and I feel the urge to move from one place to another, Finland is where I feel at home. And it’s not just the people, places, feelings and smells, but also the finnishness of everything. The familiarity of how everything is managed, how things go, how life works here.
Although I do believe that one can get attached to a new environment and a new life style, I also believe that Finland occupies a space in one’s heart no matter what. So whatever it may be, Finland is with us Finns in good and in bad. And it’s not such a bad thing to miss something. It only denotes that there’s something worth going home to.
October 30th, 2007 at 22:00
You’re probably right. In the same vein, I am currently missing every place I’ve ever felt attached to. Maybe it’s some sort of insecurity arising from this hectic lifestyle.
October 31st, 2007 at 17:17
Nie martw sie synu.To normalna melancholia,nasila sie zwlaszcza jesienia.No ale jesli tesknisz za Finlandia…to moge Ci tylko powiedziec stare polskie przyslowie:co sie martwisz?co sie smucisz?Ze wsi jestes -na wies wrocisz.To znaczy do Finlandii.Mysle o Tobie,tata.
October 31st, 2007 at 17:29
Czasami tez tesknie za Warszawe. To tez wiocha?